I am no longer needed.
When I first came to Bethel, I was expecting the leaders to rush up to me and my husband, begging us to lead or volunteer for something. It was nice when that didn’t happen, until I remembered that serving was my go-to way of meeting and connecting with people. I realized very quickly that I would need to make friends the old fashioned way: by getting to know them and making myself known! No longer could I depend on serving or being a part of some leadership team to feel like I belong. Now I actually had to develop healthy relationships built on a foundation of knowing and being known. Darn it! That’s hard work!
There’s an uncomfortable amount of freedom.
Don’t get me wrong! I love freedom, but things can get really weird when people start expressing themselves in ways I’m not comfortable with. What do they expect me to do? Accept their weirdness? And then when someone is caught sinning, there’s no punishment—not even a public reprimand! They just do some counseling, make sure the person gets to the root of the issue, and create a support system around this person. Wow. Seems a little too “loving” to me.
People are way too passionate (emotional?) about Jesus.
During worship, everyone has their hands raised and sings their hearts out. Some people are even dancing! Don’t they understand this makes some people feel uncomfortable or even pressured? Perhaps they should have “special” services for the more emotional-type people. Reserve those ostentatious acts for a mid-week evening service so the rest of us can feel better in our passionless displays of worship to Jesus.
They set the bar way too high.
When I went from my small church of 500-ish people to Bethel (where close to 10,000 people call it their home church), I wasn’t prepared for the feelings of inadequacy I would start to feel when surrounded by such passionate and mature believers. Every time I attend a service, I’m surrounded by accomplished writers, business owners, entrepreneurs, artists, pastors, evangelists, teachers, and musicians from all around the world. And they’re all just so dang loving and encouraging! I wish they would understand how insecure this makes me feel. I mean, if they just simmered down a bit and stopped being so amazing and successful, maybe I’d feel better about my lack of accomplishments.
They put way too much emphasis on authenticity.
I mean, really, how authentic are we expected to be? You don’t want to see all my crap, really. If you only saw what’s really deep down inside, you would probably reject me. But, wait! You’re going to be honest with your sins, mistakes, and failings? Eek! That makes me really uncomfortable because now I feel like you expect me to share too! Yup! Back to that “too much freedom” thing. Uh uh. Way too uncomfortable.
The children’s pastors are way too engaged.
The way the children’s pastors interact with my kids and see the gold inside them makes me feel like a failure as a mom. After church, my kids are always in such a good mood, feeling so loved and accepted. They talk about all the fun things they did and the songs they learned. Well, Bethel! You’ve set the bar too high again! I just can’t compete with that!
As you probably already guessed, I’m being sarcastic. I love my church. There are so many amazing, loving, encouraging, and supportive people here. Yes, it has been very uncomfortable in many ways, but it’s only because God has been stretching and growing me in new ways. The environment of love, acceptance, and freedom here at Bethel has made it possible for me to grow and mature in my relationship with God.
If you want to learn more about Bethel culture, here are some books I recommend:
Danny Silk’s “Culture of Honor”
Danny Silk’s “Keep Your Love On”
Kris Vallotton’s “Supernatural Ways of Royalty”
Bill Johnson’s “Dreaming with God”
Kris Vallotton’s “How Heaven Invades Earth”
Bill Johnson’s “God is Good”
I really appreciate your feedback! Tell me what stuck out to you in this blog. Have you experienced similar things at your church? Comment below!
Great job Dani! Very well written. See you in a couple weeks.
Blessings, Mike
On Sat, Jan 14, 2017 at 7:38 PM, God in Real Life wrote:
> daniraemaddox posted: ” I am no longer needed. When I first came to > Bethel, I was expecting the leaders to rush up to me and Josh, begging us > to lead or volunteer for something. It was nice when that didn’t happen, > until I remembered that serving was my go-to way of meeting and” >
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So awesome to hear all God is doing up there. Your making me want to move up north. Unfortunately that authenticity is few and far between down here in the south.
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Chanelle, you should check us out! irenovatechurch.com We are led by a Bethel graduate, April Lewis. The Presence of God is our passion. Located in Wesley Chapel Florida (near Tampa). You are welcome to personally email me at rachel@irenovatechurch.com.
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Thank you. This article itself is refreshing. Yes…to be in a ‘sea of people’ who love God and just want to encourage each other.
I was able to visit Bethel for the weekend, and I came away refreshed and blessed.
Thank you. Just reading this makes me remember and drink in the blessing of the Lord’s love.
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Brilliant blog full of Grace and Truth ..
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Thank you so much for reading!!
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Reblogged this on StreetOutreach Blog.
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Love this!
Thanks for taking time to write it 🙂
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Thank you for reading!!
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Sounds a brilliant but scary place. Don’t think you could say our place has got there yet, not by a long chalk. But I keep listening to Bethel preaching. Hopefully some of it will sink into my soul and I’ll get even more changed.
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It’s amazing. God has used our time here to stretch me and my husband more than we could have imagined. Before we moved here, I immersed myself in their teachings through books and preaching (bethel.tv). Continuing listening to their preaching. Their heart is contagious! 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting!
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It was so weird reading something that I could have written myself I totally understood all you said. Recently I have had a revelation of God’s love for me which has changed my life and I no longer suffer from the hangups you articulated so well. Praise God for the freedom His love brings into our lives.
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I love hearing that you connect with my writing. That is my number one goal. Thank you for reading and commenting!
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Brilliant post. Thanks.
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Dang. Well the church I have been at for over 25 years isn’t like the people of Bethel. To say the least. Not a good atmosphere for people that had much rejection and were recovering from it. Plus even when you are in a small group for 5 years, the leader doesn’t come to you to say “I think you are having a problem with some things”. No they let it slide and do t provide recommendations to the wife such as, I think you need more relationships with women who are older. How about so and so or xxx. Then when there is a problem and you ask the Pastor for help he doesn’t provide any advice either. Stupid to say the least.
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I’m so sorry. That sounds really tough. It’s so important that we are in an environment where we can grow spiritually, and a big part of that is having mentorship from those who are older and wiser. Sometimes when we are a part of a church for so long, it’s assumed that we don’t need to be poured into. I hope you are able to find someone who desires to pour into you.
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This is great! Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s a wonderful take on on a wonderful church.
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You’re welcome!! Thanks for reading and commenting. Bethel is such an amazing church. Such a loving environment.
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Absolutely! I have a lot of friends who are in leadership there. Are you currently attending there?
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Yep! My family has been in Redding for almost a year now.
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That’s amazing! My wife and I travel a lot to Redding. We will have to look you up sometime, and discuss the goodness of God. My wife will actually be in Redding in August for the Women’s Conference.
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Hahaha….that was awesome. Threw me off there Dani. Looking forward to visiting Bethel for my first time for Kingdom Culture come June 21st. Any suggestions on place to stay, visit, and all?
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I’m glad you liked it! You are really going to enjoying visiting! Bethel has so much to offer, as does the city of Redding. There are a lot of AirBNB places to rent around here. Otherwise, the Red Lion is nice. My family enjoys getting out in nature around here, so Whiskeytown Lake is a great place to visit. There’s hiking and swimming there. Lema Ranch in town is a beautiful place to take walks. For eating, I suggest Madayne’s and Wilda’s Grill. They are local favorites.
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Awesome. Will plan around that. Hey, if you have time, would you consider reading one or two of my posts. I’d like some feedback. It seems you are a pro at this. I’m just starting. Its okay if you can’t or don’t feel comfortable. Still, you are blessed and awesome sister in Christ.
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Is destinyclass.org your site? I can take a look! And, honestly, I’m no pro. Haha. I’ve been blogging for a few years, but only recently has God nudged me to begin taking it more seriously. I still have a lot to learn, but I’ll let you know if I have any feedback.
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Yes, it mine. I am just starting and trying to figure this out. You know how HE is. If you don’t he will keep on nudging. No sleep no rest
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Dani, you forgot that after some time of absorbing this overly rich culture, it is expected of you to export it to some place where it does not exist. Being a Bethel missionary is painfully stretching. Now you must become what was taken for granted when 10,000 other people were doing the same thing. Oi! The fun never ends.
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Yes! That is true!! Already, my husband and I are getting to a point of realizing this truth, but it very exciting! Bethel has a way of growing and maturing a person so that he or she desires to pass on this culture. That is a big part of my blogging, but we desire to bring these truths wherever we go! Thanks for your input!
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